Tag Archives: pie

The Tell-Tale Tart

The Tell-Tale Tart

My entry, The Tell-Tale Tart, won the prize for Funniest/Punniest entry in this year’s Edible Book Festival, sponsored by the University of Illinois Library. It’s based on the short story by Edgar Allan Poe, of course.

Here’s a bit of background on the festival, from the Library website:

Around April 1st, bibliophiles, book artists, and food lovers around the world gather to celebrate the book arts and the (literal!) ingestion of culture. Participants create an “edible book,” which can be inspired by a favorite tale, involve a pun on a famous title, or simply be in the shape of a book (or scroll, or tablet, etc). All entries will be exhibited, documented, then EATEN!

The tart is filled with strawberries, strawberry glaze, and a human heart sculpted from marzipan. Despite the gruesome appearance, it’s totally vegan. Marie Callender’s frozen pie crust saves the day! I STILL can’t seem to make a decent crust. I’m still trying, but this is one of the things I’m willing to cheat on for now.

Several people were grossed out by the realistic human heart nestled in a sea of glistening, gelatinous goo. Their disgust really touched… my heart. *rimshot* Those who were able to get past the realism found the combination of strawberries and almonds to be quite tasty. I guess they… took a piece of my heart along with them. *rimshot*

“Thank you very much, I’ll be here all week. Please tip your waitstaff.”

My fabulous prize included not one but TWO rubber chickens: a full-size chicken and his keychain-sized cousin.

This great idea was courtesy of my literature-loving friend, Noah. The original idea involved making the heart beat somehow, which would have been even more awesome. Thank you!


The rapture did not begin on May 21, but the world’s reaction to it was quite amusing, thanks mostly to hilarious posts on Twitter. What better way to celebrate supposed-end-of-the-world craziness than to bake pies?

A-Pie-Calypse! Now!

Hellfire-Toasted Coconut CreamI call this one Hellfire-Toasted Coconut Cream. It’s the Veganomicon recipe, “Lost Coconut Custard Pie”. I ended up with a little “bonus custard” to sample before cutting into this beauty, and WOW… delicious! Recipe alterations include using So Delicious vanilla coconut milk instead of rice milk, sweetened coconut (couldn’t find unsweetened), and lime juice – which offered a hint of tropical tang.

Fresh Strawberry Blackberry

The Fresh Strawberry Blackberry pie was supposed to contain rhubarb, but my child refuses to eat rhubarb, and making a pie that only I will eat seems like a bad idea. I like this glaze. It’s simply fresh strawberries, pureed in a food processor, then simmered with 1/4 cup sugar and 1 tbsp arrowroot or cornstarch until thickened. The recipe said to cook until transparent, but I think the food processor introduced too much air into the mixture. I also needed more glaze to completely fill the 9-inch pie shell. This made a delicious breakfast. It’s better than a Pop-Tart.

The ability to make pastry that’s not rock-hard still eludes me. Apparently this gene was not passed down from my mom, who makes the best pies in the world. One of these days, I’ll get it right. I guess we all have an achilles heel.